I never expected a life or death situation, especially in the middle of nowhere with nobody to help. We stayed on a farm for two weeks where the nearest neighbors weren’t visible and the nearest town was a half hour drive away. Granted, in Australia, the definition for “the middle of nowhere” is a bit different than the rest of us, even people from small places like Montana. Australia IS the middle of nowhere.
The farm was cute! The dogs were huge and the 12 chickens would follow you around wherever you went. There was a horse who followed too, and a calf who was too scared to come near. Also we had to take the trash out like this:
It was too far away. My phone slipped out of my tiny woman jacket pockets two weeks ago and it’s broken so there are no pictures of the baby cow. Yes, I cried. Yes, I am a baby. Plus the story is a bit.. you’ll see. This is why I’m adding happy unrelated pictures from our travels at the farm. Sorry to all women out there with ridiculously tiny pockets.
The three dogs had different personalities. The biggest one was friendly but a bit of a wuss. He had dry skin that needed spraying with an aloe mix, and would run away once he saw the spray bottle. Very hilarious to wake up in the morning and look out the window only to see a grown man chasing a horse sized dog around desperately holding a spray bottle up and trying to spray him.
The next dog was the smallest, a greyhound, and he was lazy and did not care about attention at all. The last was another Wolfhound mix whose paws were too small for her body. She was petite and an absolute sweetheart, however she was a complete psycho.
We were warned. The owners told us she would murder chickens for fun but we didn’t expect her to do it while we were there. Within the first 3 days, a chicken disappeared. She had had a snack. Over time, the chickens were slowly laying less eggs. The next time it happened, we found a body laying out for everyone to see plus another chicken missing. She did it for fun. Luckily it was trash day that day so into the trash can she went. We searched around and found the final missing chicken wedged between a pile of hay and the barn wall. We tried to pull her out, only to find out she was moving. Great! She’s okay!
Nope. Sebastian put some gloves on and pulled her out. She was holding her head down but still trying to move. We noticed the back of her neck immediately, there was a bone sticking out and it was clearly broken. Our pretty little lady dog had been bullying her. She was still clinging onto life for whatever reason and Sebastian, clearly in a state of shock (especially being a city boy and all), kept asking if we should take her to the vet. At the end of it he also said “Is it fucked up I still want to eat chicken after this?” Anyway, I pointed out that she’s obviously not going to live, plus chickens are like $10.
Do we kill her? What do we do?
Well. It’s probably what we should have done, but seeing how close to death she was we walked over to the corner of the property and just set her there. Yep. I’m pretty sure we should have just ended it for her, but well, that’s what we did. The next day we went out with shovels. I wanted to have a proper burial after a friend told me I should have done that rather than throwing the second one in the trash when the first got eaten by a dog. Maybe a burial would have been a bit more decent for it. Whoops.
When we got to the spot we left her, she was gone. Probably got snatched up by a fox. So… at least there’s no cleanup? All the 9 chickens that were left got to witness 3 horrible deaths of their own and yet, still followed us around like puppies. I had caught the dog with her mouth around the neck of a chicken and stopped her in the past, but I never expected her to murder them. Should have been pretty obvious after witnessing that. We locked the chickens up in their coop after and surprise, surprise, they were laying eggs again. Some had been obviously chewed on by the dog and basically had PTSD so wouldn’t let you touch them, but at least they were safe from the big bad wolf now.
There is good news out of all of this. I did get myself a Costco membership and a brand spanking new toothbrush. We obviously got to see some sights along the Great Ocean Road which were breathtaking and a good reminder that nature isn’t completely fucked up. Just mostly.
I’ve also decided for Christmas I’m buying myself a teeth cleaning because my bones hate me and I get cavities easily. It’s also Thanksgiving and as the second lonely family holiday season away from my family, I’m making it a big deal and having a big dinner. It’s going to be lit. That’s what the kids say, right. Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to. I sure hope your lives have been a bit more tame and if it’s mundane, keep it that way. Nature is scary. Offices are not. And with that, here’s a bar menu we found in an Irish town.
Have a good week 🙂